When you have reached a certain mature age--let’s say 60, you’ll most probably face a dilemma regarding your personal life: whether to half-heartedly do what society expects from you and live a low-key life with your friends and family and no romantic partner or open up your wings and search out for a new love.
As age is a mere number, it doesn’t matter if you are too old to find love again, especially if you feel an overwhelming desire to find love and spend the rest of your life with a new partner.
You are now embarking on a new journey in your life and you are the one mainly responsible for your life choices. Still, that doesn’t imply that the road to finding love will be easy because, at this point of your life, there are new and different challenges ahead of you.
If you wish to find love again as a senior, here are some dating for senior tips to consider:
1. Get rid of your emotional baggage
The vast majority of people over 55 are either divorced or widowed, and you also have been through many emotional struggles in the past, it would be wise to heal yourself first before jumping onto a new relationship.
The reason why is simple: you can start something new if you haven’t healed your inner demons first.
As famous Chinese poet and author said, “Sometimes the past should be abandoned, yes. Life is a journey and you can’t carry everything with you. Only the usable baggage.”
There is no point in wallowing in self-pity and allowing any hurtful experiences in your near or distant past define your future.
Even if bad things have happened to your life emotional-wise, you can see them as learning experiences and valuable life lessons to move on stronger than ever to something new and more exciting.
2. Settle any pending family or financial obligations
Yes, as much as some seniors hate to admit it, there are some obligations of practical nature that you better settle or at least control before you start a new relationship.
Perhaps your eldest son is finally getting married and expecting a baby this year or your daughter is currently unemployed and you are supporting her.
You may not have any official duty to always serve you family until your death but starting a new relationship while a couple of family matters are pending, is a recipe for disaster.
First of all, you’ll risk getting alienated with your near family members or evoke their disapproval or just put a heavy toll on your new relationship, struggling to make both ends meet. It’s just won’t work out.
3. Spend some time alone and love yourself
It may sound cliche but you’ll be surprised to learn how many mature people are seeking for new love without loving their self first.
If you don’t love and accept yourself and everything that comes with it–your strengths, your weaknesses, and peculiarities, then how can you expect someone else to love and accept you?
Other people that may meet you will certainly smell your self-negativity sooner and later and will get repelled. Of course, that doesn’t mean you should become a narcissist or arrogant but you should at least try to maintain and loving and balanced image of yourself.
That way, your chances of finding and keeping love will be much higher as others will come to you more easily.
4. Search in the right places
When it comes to finding love again as senior, the place and platform you choose to meet new people is really important.
You can’t hang out, for example, in infamous pubs drinking and acting loud as you did in your 20s or 30s and expect to find someone decent.
On the other hand, many mature people go the opposite direction and stay at home without exploring any alternative options to meet someone who’s a good fit.
There are some places where finding quality love is easier than others, both offline and online. It depends on whether you are more traditional or more experimental and if how much time and energy are you willing to put into it.
For example, if you are more into traditional dating, you may join local clubs and communities with senior members who share the same interests as you e.g golf club or theatre club. In some places, there are also special activity clubs just for seniors.
If you are in the UK, check this website for upcoming senior activities and locations, if you are in the U.S, 55places.com and if you are abroad in a smaller area, you can get in touch with your local community for more info.
And if you are an avid internet user, there are plenty of senior dating websites to try your luck. Some charge a membership fee while others are free to join but they are most probably loaded with ads.(Read: Why Free Dating Sites Just Don’t Work?)
If you decide to join an online dating site for serious, just make sure they have a good online reputation and that you build a solid and interesting profile so others can see who you really are. (Read: 5 Massive Reasons To Date Online)
5. Don’t settle for something if you aren’t sure
Unfortunately, many seniors fall into the trap of setting themselves with someone they’ve just met without thinking twice, assuming that they won’t easily find someone better.
And yes, while it is hard to find many options when you are senior playing the dating field, it doesn’t mean that you should settle for someone or something that doesn’t fulfill you or you will end up feeling unhappy.
It’s better to take a small pause from dating or explore your options more till you find someone that’s a good match for you. You ideally want to spend the rest of your life with someone that makes you feel happy, not miserable. There is no room for settling because you think you are too old to finding love again.